Blimey heck, school holidays

The brown egg we dyed browner is fortunately hidden.

School holidays are PACKED with guilt. I’m not working properly, I’m not looking after my kids properly, I’m not cleaning the house, urm, at all. Oh and I’m definitely not seeing my Mum and Dad enough, or my Nan come to that and when was the last time I travelled up to see one of my siblings?

I get EVERYTHING wrong come holidays.  Right now daughter is annoyed with me because I ruined her beautiful chocolate mousse. It wasn’t entirely my fault, I  have a thing about raw eggs, so I cooked it and now it is chocolate scrambled egg and although I was attempting to save three children from salmonella,  I inadvertently ruined daughter’s domestic goddess moment. And now she hates me.

The strawberries are about to burst forth in abundance and people are arriving ALL the time, and some of them , specifically those that look like Ozzie Osborne but skinnier, are leaving very quickly and causing me no end of headaches with passports that have gone to the Worker Registration place and money that has gone to the bank.  Yes, I failed to anticipate their reluctance to do any actual work  because I wasn’t paying ATTENTION.

I am writing but everything I write is being rewritten ten times over because it’s rubbish and I may as well not have bothered.

Son is running wild, lighting fires and living like a heathen; daughter is  getting on with revision because she might as well considering her useless mother isn’t taking her to Brighton after all; the fridge is empty, we are knee deep in dog hair and NOTHING is getting finished.

Even this isn’t a proper blog,  it’s just a school holiday RANT.


I'll make my own dinner then shall I?

11 Comments Add yours

  1. You’re brilliant, Mrs Bung, I love you! Oh, this strikes a chord. I am an even more incompetent mother in the holidays than I am in term time, and of course a FAR less disciplined writer. *sigh!*

  2. Nancy H says:

    Love it.
    I finally got round to hoovering the fur-niture today, hoping it would help my alarming allergies (is it a cold? is it hayfever?).
    Here it is, gorgeous east coast weather, and I’m sheltering indoors from the half-inch-thick green crust of pollen outside. I used to like spring…

  3. Lynne Harris says:

    Love it! So nice to hear someone who has the same lifestyle as me … can’t please the kids, dog hair everywhere, nothing getting done. I just wish I had the strawberries.

  4. LOL! As a maker of chocolate mousses, I will only say this to you. Don’t cook the bloody eggs, wummun!

  5. Lucy Coats says:

    This too will pass, mrsbung. And I’m with Nicky–what were you THINKING to cook the eggs! Nobody’s ever got salmonella from mayo or choc mousse in my house–and I make things with raw egg all the time. (Now the Gods will pour scorn on my head and we’ll all go down with it this weekend…):-)

  6. Keren David says:

    Brilliant. This school holiday has been particularly difficult because two different schools, two different holidays – so it’s stretched to nearly a month. And we had the fun of Passover to deal with too..One more week!

    1. V. Kathryn Evans says:

      omg – a month! No wonder you are stressing…

  7. Oh, I do remember this very same guilt. When your kids are students/adults, the guilt then becomes about how bad you WERE during school holidays. And they come home for longer and are too big to tell off.

    1. V. Kathryn Evans says:

      I shouldn’t be laughing but some how, i just think, we’re never going to get it right….

  8. bookwitch says:

    But you have parents and siblings that you COULD visit if you wanted to.

    1. V. Kathryn Evans says:

      oh I do but I just rarely find the time…hopeless, i am, hopeless…

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