Beloved had to cope with an exploding Pipe of Poo from the farm camp this week. I won’t go into details but a blockage of disgusting proportions caused a fall out of undigested sweetcorn right across my lawn. I couldn’t help thinking it was a bit of a metaphor for all that forced optimism that keeps me writing into the dead of night and came spewing back up, in a fit of negativity, this week.
Kind words from my facebook friends have somewhat assuaged my Hiccup of Doubt but the question remains. How do we know if we are deluding ourselves? Someone should invent a deludometer. You could sell them in the queue outside the X-factor auditions.
I’d buy one.
Kathryn Evans 
I think we are deluding ourselves – out of necessity – from the moment we start writing until the moment we hold our published book in our hands. But that doesn’t mean it won’t happen – it just feels like that. Every single day.
I think we all have the ‘Doubt Factor’, now and again. I blame it on the hormones!
Don’t you have a deludeometer … called an agent?
I think if an agent has faith in you, it’s a good indication that you should keep on having faith in yourself.
Maybe the publishing industry isn’t in the right place for your work yet, but your agent knows you have talent and that it’ll happen some time.
Personally though I still have that feeling that I’m deluding myself. It’s just that now I feel like I’ve also managed to trick my agent and editor too! I’m terrified that when my book comes out I’ll be ‘outed’. There will be mockery. There will be hooting, laughter (and it isn’t a comedy) and there will be hysterical tears.
On my good days I think maybe I’ll manage to fool a few readers too, but who really believes that they’re hugely talented? I bet even Stephen King has his off days!
There, Bryony said it perfectly. Now, believe in yourself or I’ll bring over a vuvuzela in November and blow it in your ear! 🙂
Spooky – I could have written this blog myself! The difficulty with our profession is that you get so many rejections. Is it any wonder that sometimes we think ‘maybe they’re right, maybe I’m just not good enough’. Trouble is, I’ve read you’re work, and you ARE good enough. Busted, Evans!
They say you’re only as good as your last book. Actually, you’re only as good as the book you’re working on now. I know a famous published writer who just had two brilliant book proposals turned down by Penguin.
Too deluded to continue right now. Think will eat icecream instead.
(fear I’m deluded to think will ever be published, rather than not good enough writer 😦
Self-belief and faith in yourself. I think actors must feel the same, when going for auditions. You put yourself and your work on the line and hope someone, somewhere will look at it and be blown away. Of course you have to have talent and then great luck in your work being scooped up by an agent and then a publisher. Remember, even JK got rejected 8 times before someone saw the potential of her work.
The answers are; if you enjoy writing, then keep at it…have faith in yourself and your work…..you have an agent and that is a big bonus. The chances will come and then you will take them. Never doubt yourself, once others can see the potential in your work, as their experience and knowledge, back up their decision to accept your work, in the first place.
Oh all you clever writing people, don’t lose heart!! The rest of the human race equally qualifies for a deludeometer….are we really any good as accountants/ shopkeepers/ parents/ spouses/ lovers/ grown-ups……the list is endless! Are we really deluding ourselves that our cooking is delicious/ our driving competent/ that our bum doesn’t look big in that?? There’s a very fine line between deluding yourself and having the guts to go for something……you are all admirable, I think!
I am glad that I am not the only one in this mood this week. After a week with three rejections and my husband (not usually a teen horror reader) completely not getting my novel I am suffering the writer jitters too.
Wine and coffee will hopefully see me through
Not deluded, just mad. You have to be mad to be a children’s writer, so you’re doing well.
NOOOOOOO! I don’t want a delude-o-meter. I like living in a fictional place, where wine and chocolate are calorie-free and everyone loves every single word I write.
Kathy that’s so strange, we had a similar problem with our sewage system at my house. It all ended with one smelly parent and a bag of very smelly rubbish for the bin men!
I’d love a deludometer for both my writing and illustrating.
I sometimes wonder why I continue to bother but I love what I do. So although I am poor, live at home with my parents and I’m basically unemployed I will continue on blindly convinced that one day I will be a success!
Please don’t give up, I think determination is half the job done!
Mary x
My name is Sue and I am deluded! There. I’ve said it too. What’s the opposite of deludometer? I have one built inside my brain. Still at least I don’t have the poo crisis as well. Chin up, Kathy!
I know what you mean. Have just had a rejection from a small publisher, but at least they gave me reasons why it was rejected which I am now thinking about. It has given me the idea to send it off for feedback somewhere as I do so much want it published. The answer is not to give up.